Broken

There comes a time in life when we stop believing! A time we lose our faith to doubt and stop living; our hope to fears and stop dreaming; our pride to shame and start grieving. It is the moment we grow hatred for our own image, when our shadows become our worst enemy and failure, a friend. The moment when our bravery enters a grave, too quiet to be heard and our eyes like an ocean, too watery to dry.

We become weaker than the weakest, yet stronger than the strongest. Drenched by rainy days, rain too heavy for a decade’s sunshine to dry, soul too broken for a smile to bury. Pains become a norm and sorrow a culture, with a heart too heavy for our body to marry. We become a burden to our body, a cross too huge for our shoulders to carry. And fighting back isn’t an option, not after bleeding your strength to death. Your pride becomes wounded, your ego grounded. You feel so forgotten, so forsaken like a tow truck parked on the highway, no one could guess if it needs a push. Then, you start to question your existence.

Having to hold on, even after reality says otherwise is an act of bravery we rarely share; an act of tenacity, of endurance, not giving up on everything even when the world would understand if we did. Living each day as it comes with the genuine leftover of faith in our heart, even though faded is hard. One thing is certain, when God pushes us to the edge of difficulties, the purpose is clear, it is either to catch us when we fall or teach us how to fly. So don’t curse while you cry because if only you knew the great smile beyond those tears, you would gladly weep.

“To no one shall we assign a burden more than he can bear”. God gives the hardest battles to His strongest soldiers. It can only mean one thing – He believes in your strength. It is high time you did the same. The deeper the ditch, the greater your strength.

When it is time for the sun to shine, it will shine brightly but you need to understand that God needs to prepare you for the rays.

Remember, the hardship you go through shows the magnitude of your strength, treat it like a privilege.


@mildbutwild3

Overrated

“Love never lies”, “love doesn’t hurt”, “love doesn’t cheat”, “love doesn’t die”, so they say but ‘love’, I believe is overrated. When people say these about love, I ask myself of the ‘love’ in question; is it the immortal love of GOD or The mortal love of Men?

There is a difference between ‘falling in love’ and ‘staying in love’ but ‘falling in love’ is a lot more easier than ‘staying in love.’ The first is an uncontrollable process of love that puts one in a vulnerable state stronger than his/her own inertia. It’s an act of moving from a feeling of neutrality to that of emotional attachment. The moment you fall in love is the moment you accept in your heart & say to yourself; ‘I’ve found the one’. Subsequently, that ‘one’ becomes the reason behind; the smiles that keeps your face glowing like the sun, the touch becomes a Midas that melts your heart, the hug sends butterflies rumbling in your tummy, the sensational breath, the soul-soothing warmth and above all, nothing reassures you better than the glow in your lover’s eyes. It’s a beautiful feeling that turns life into a music of one sound and one voice. It involves falling into something that seems so perfect.

But ‘staying in love’ is where the job lies. It is like having to stare at one single star in a sky full of many on a dark lonely night. It doesn’t matter how much you look, only that ‘one star’ catches your eyes & it just appear so unique that you can’t stop staring. It is having to stick to that one star, whether bright/dim, not even minding its diminishing glow. A point at which nothing you see changes what you feel. It involves living with the ‘imperfection’ and staying in love despite the hurdles, challenges and pains.

Many of us have experienced heartbreaks, we’ve seen Love turn Sour and Suffered a great loss from the overwhelming grief of hurt and emotional disappointment, yet we go about chanting the reality of love. Love in mortals has its limits. It lives, grows and dies, it also hurts and heals. It is like a beautiful mirror via which you view yourself. It tells you a lot about yourself, showing you who you are and who you can be but when that cute mirror breaks, it becomes the greatest weapon that can either be used as a weapon of attack or a shield for defense.

Love might be the inspiration one need to grow in life but love in mortals isn’t perfection. An imperfect being cannot demonstrate a perfect love. The mortal man demonstrates a form of love that could have the features of hurts, lies, cheats and death.

I submit that the manifestation of love varies from ‘Person to Person’ ranging from ‘near perfection’ to ‘almost abysmal.’ Falling in love is about our Feelings, and staying in love is all about our Actions, depending on our willpower to keep on loving ‘that one’ against all odds. The nature of Love is about perfection but the outcome of Love is not always perfect and Our actions solely determine the outcome of our love.

Always remember that Love in mortals is mortal. Unless you understand all these, Falling in love might come easy but Staying in love might remain impossible.

@midbutwild3

The Rhythm

It is quite intriguing to watch ladies talk
about men. Of course, the topics are known
and common – like; how they cheated, lie and broke their hearts – this same song we’ve heard over and over from most women, especially the younger age group. The rhythm is so much regular that one begins to wonder if there is ever a good attribute accrued to these souls called “men”. Yet, they (women) don’t want to stay single, they scream at the sight of a ring and many,if not most say ‘I do’ every Saturday. The interesting one is the reigning cliche on the lips of many women/ladies in recent time ~ if he loves me, he would fight for me; Abeg, you be AWARD?!

When ladies say all of these, they make it
appear like they are angels, flawless and
Perhaps, the perfect definition of perfection however, ignoring the human factor. Yourself as a lady needs to understand that the motive of most men at first sight is all the same. The moment he sees you ‘sex’ is what crosses his mind but his decision to stay & keep it real is a factor that depends mainly on you, your character, you manner of handling things, the degree of your real self with respect to his taste as a man. Until you do these, it remains a ‘p**sy-hit mission’ to Him. So, before you judge a man and call him any of the aforementioned names, ensure you have truly done your part and that you truly deserve to be loved.

We understand you want to be treated like
a Queen, you want a Cinderella story where
‘this prince’ (man) sweeps you off your feet;
Expect to see his perfection always and
need him to fight for you as proof that he
loves you. These being the reason why it’s so easy to judge him when he goes wrong without putting into consideration his good deeds and condemn him in a flash by letting his crimes overshadow all other good he’s ever done to and for you. While at it, do ask yourself these honest questions – How long does he have to fight before he’s crowned a
warrior? How long does he need to remain
perfect before he’s tagged a Prince?_____
Forever?

If one single bad deed of a man surpasses
his numerous good ones and you hammer/
speak ill about him based on that ignoring
the rest of his good sides, who then is the
cheat and who of a truth is the liar?

So yes, maybe you’re right! Men are the
scariest monsters on earth, great liars they
are, they cheat and are full of pride and also
love too many at a time BUT when a man
loves, he does so truly and to favour that,
He would LIE in your arms, CHEAT death to
be with you. He’ll forever be PROUD of you
and love you in TOO MANY ways no one else
would.

@Mildbutwild3

The Sacrifice

Often times, men mistake their duties to their family for a favour, therefore, treating their responsibilities as a husband and father like a noble act of alms giving. The reason can’t be far fetched in a society where women are seen as subject of men especially in the African context where they (women) are culturally believed to be the subordinate/inferior to men. This view and way of life has been highly respected due to its positive result overtime, hence, the possible effect shouldn’t be ignored as well.

According to the definition of man – an adult male – a man is expected to be physically grown and morally developed with attributes of maturity in order to be able to accept the responsibilities that come with adulthood. Unless a man becomes a man by pouring forth positive actions effortlessly and responding to situations in appropriate manner which include making conscious decisions to effect positive change, he might never be able to differentiate ‘duties’ from ‘favour’. Duties are things you are accountable and/or questionable for. They are the moral/legal obligations & required actions expected of your position as a man/husband. Favour on the other hand is a thing you decide to do out of good will or mercy.

The inability to understand/differentiate these two has made men treat their obligations as an act of generosity these past years thereby promoting the rampant abuse of power in many homes. As a result, women are judged as good/bad using how much of these maltreatment she takes as a yard stick. Especially in places where customs sees women as inferior to men and expect them (women) to worship the ground their husband walks. This trend has made the titles “good woman” & “sweet mother” appear so great that people tend to easily forget the amount of sacrifices that comes with the honour. Her dreams and aspirations, the childhood imagination of becoming somebody, the teenage fantasy of happily ever after, the loss of ‘girlhood’ life of doing things at will for the ‘womanhood’ life of doing things in need along with all the wishes bottled up for your own dreams to live. There is need for you as her man or child to understand that it is a long list of preferences slaughtered for your needs, dreams & want,all for those titles “good woman & sweet mother”.

We all know it is tasking to be a man and stay a man by providing for your home and more but men, next time you want to discharge your duties as if it be a favour, take a minute, take a moment in your heart and ask yourself as a child ~ What exactly did she give up for me? As a husband ~ what exactly is she giving up for “us”?

This article is neither a battle nor a competition but an eye opener to help see what those “real” women gave up. If by chance you have any woman with that title “good woman” and/or “sweet mother” around you OR you have women in your life with those Honour(s), take time out to say to them ‘Gracias’ a thousand times.

Always remember that women are pillars and men the foundation of that place you call home but without those pillars there is no home.

It’s @Mildbutwild3 on twitter