Recent statistics has shown that men tell more lies than women but while the former take the lead in terms of ‘quantity’, the latter can’t be won over or underestimated when it comes to ‘quality’. When people are asked about their dislikes and I hear them mention ‘lies’ as one of them, I’d be like ‘really? Because you just did.’
In my opinion, everybody lies, for different reasons though, especially in a relationship. Some for good reasons and some for bad. However, a lie is a lie irrespective of the reason or motive. There are two categories of lies:
1) Necessary lies/White lie
2) Blatant lies/Real lies
Necessary lies are those told out of compulsion to protect either yourself or the recipients from the hurt of reality. This kind of lies are usually harmless and told for purposes that speaks more for the recipient than the ‘liar’ (teller). They’re mostly selfless. Take for instance, having to tell an ugly friend she’s pretty when asked, is a necessary and healthy lie, as you have succeeded in:
A. Fueling her self esteem and helping the human race create another self-confident person which is good for development.
B. Ridding yourself off loosing a friend and gaining an additional enemy. Trust me, the world is full of people wanting to bring you down and you don’t wanna add someone new to the list (crew).
Real lies on the other hand are told for selfish reasons of protecting one’s self and are usually kept secret for security or peace keeping purposes.
Apparently, men tend to do much of the white lies than the other OR should I say women are smart enough to depict their men’s lies while they pretend to believe it. Considering they’re fairly judged and the societal norm favors their act in terms of condemnation. They hardly feel guilt, at least not enough in quantity to make them wanna spill. So should your man decides to come clean of his lies and sins out of his own goodwill without being caught, you should throw him a party and celebrate his holiness with/in grace (lol).
Women on the other hand, tend to fall in both categories of lies, with the latter higher than the former, the quality of lies told by women can’t be undermined. The fact that they’re harshly judged by the society makes it easier to tell these lies and keep secrets way more than men. This factor thus encourages them to let it remain a secret for ‘forever’ unless when caught or the truth unveils. So, if your woman decides to come clean to you about the; lies she’s told, sins she’s committed, secrets she has buried, there is need to cut her some slacks and be more understanding in such situation, no matter the weight or depth of the lies. WHY??
Coming out clean is an art of confession which indicates the admission or acknowledgment of her wrong as well as her guilt of the crime. It shows her bitterness, her remorseful state and willingness to turn a new leave. It’s a noble act in the world of secrets, especially that of women in a society where they are easily judged or condemned, treat it as an honor that its actually is. It means she has come to terms with her obligation to be the woman she ought to be with you. It’s a bold step that requires lot of courage and determination for execution, considering what is at stake. Such a giant step by a truth toddler needs a bit of encouragement in other to keep threading the path of truth. Rejection will never make such feet firm.
I know no form of lie is justifiable but you’d agree with me that some are acceptable while others are forgivable.
What lies behind those lies she told, either selfish or selfless, is a strong emotions that led to the fear of loosing or hurting what she considers very dear -YOU.
And that ‘You’,have the right to be angry but also the choice to forgive and the chance to give it another shot. You won’t only be forgiving, but also, giving more room for her to share with you her darkest secrets.
Besides, A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets,only a wise man can swim through.