Usually, lesser attention is paid to some important issues in or after marriage. Basically, no one is to be blamed in such a long term union and considering the reality involved in living together for a long time most times regarded as eternity or forever, it is only expected of us to unconsciously take for granted what we would/could have ordinarily taken seriously in a controlled environment. Take for example, what intrigues your spouse, what startles him/her, what s/he wants and the likes of it.
When married, it becomes harder for desires to be expressed when overtime in some cases it became easier for such desires to be misunderstood or misinterpreted or not recognized by one’s self/spouse. This case is rampant with marriages due to the divided attention of spouses on “other important” marital responsibilities such as children, shelter and food.
However, our desire changes as we grow older and such changing desires are easier dealt with while living single than later. Desires don’t have a long life span as when it is unachievable, it becomes a mere fantasy and stays as a dream. As a result of this, desires tend to remain wishful thinking/demand till it is achieved,outgrown/overthrown by another rising and pressing desire. So, there is always a need to move along and stay updated with your spouse’s changing desire. How then do you discover your spouse’s changing desires?
In the middle of owning a career alongside marital responsibilities, people find it extremely difficult if not impossible to outrightly share with or tell their partners what they desire. Therefore, to detect your spouse’s changing desire and move along its trend, you will have to directly pay towards your spouse, an ‘indirect attention’. How is this achieved?
Numerous are the ways to achieve the above but the most tested and trusted method of all time to discover your spouse’s changing desires is – LISTENING. (Very simple and inexpensive)
Most of the topics chosen by your spouse for discussion aren’t accidental but deliberate. These AOC shows where his/her interest lies and by listening, you’ll be able to uncover his/her school of thought.
Know that when your spouse chooses to discuss events of the day at work or share a gist and give updates about a friend with you, it’s mostly not for fun but definitely because something in the choice of topic describes the desires/wishes and further expresses the stand for or against the theme of discussion. This discovery won’t only help figure out your spouse’s burning desires but also, shall enable you the ability to help attain such desire which in turn strengthens the life span of a good relationship and healthy marriage. Also, it helps curb the need to search for matching interests (like minds) to relate with outside the marriage as well as reducing the boredom of having to do the same things repeatedly which usually results in marital problems.
Successive unattainable desires lead to psychological defeat and frustration. Making people nurture the idea/desire of wanting out of commitment.
Satisfied or overthrown, your desires of yesterday aren’t the same as today’s and that of today surely won’t remain a pressing desire for long.
Change they say is constant in life but changing along with change isn’t only the true essence of living but also an evidence of fulfillment. Help your spouse own a fulfilled life.