When marriages turn sour and become a war front, it is WRONG and BIAS to tag anyone the ‘victor’ irrespective of the result. The price paid for such expensive war wouldn’t make it possible for the praises and existence of a martyr. The home becomes a battlefield, Parents the fighters and Children (if any) become the victims for a long time,just like in war fronts.
In wars, marital or country, children are the victims. Part of the reasons why products of broken homes are never hard to point. They are known for either;
1) Emotional excesses or
2) Emotional deficiency
The emotional sensitivity remains their cross to carry for the rest of their lives and can be noticed from a distance.
There are lot of reasons why a marriage can suddenly become a battlefied. Some justified, others avoidable but either ways, understanding that ‘Mom & Dad’ who were once emotionally desperate as well as qualified to be together and birth offspring can suddenly no longer pull it all together”, is much for children to handle at tender ages when life ought be a bed of roses. The insecurity that comes with such development doesn’t make it any easier to accept, thereby, making such victims vulnerable exhuding anger and depression.
So, when a marital relationship moves from bliss to doubts to fight, then to stress and pains, there is need to consider the potential victims before it turns into hate or life regret through memories that won’t heal. Because in marital wars, winning is as disastrous as losing and the battlefield never remains same afterwards. Neither can the rain bring back such grounds to life nor the sun be hot enough to dry the tears. No spring has ever succeeded in bringing such land back to its natural state. Atleast, not for the war victims who live on with huge scars in their souls.
I understand that ‘staying’ in some marriages is sometimes worse than ‘leaving’ but it is also important to note that nice people don’t necessarily fall in love with nice people. If you could do it once, then one more shot can hit the miracle of making it work again. Atleast for the sake of the kids.
Call it a mistake but you walked the aisle and took the sacred oath before those that mattered, pledged your allegiance through thick & thin. Blissful or not, you’ve had your moments and lived your life the way you chose with a childhood worth remembering. Don’t make them live theirs in your shadow.
The point is-No winners exist in marital wars. Victims of such injustice are the children. Your mistakes are yours and considering you brought them to this world, you owe them some life responsibilities.
So, ‘hang on’ or ‘move on’. It is not their war, don’t make them pay for it.