The Devil I Know…..

Thinking of how old this adage could be & my take is that it’s definitely older than my forefathers. It’s one of those proverbs you must have heard as an African, probably the first my child will learn before age 10. 

Its popularity however can’t compete with its constant usage for emotional blackmail. Especially in delicate matters like Marriage. Oh! How it enslaved our mothers & constantly churned out nonchalant act out of our fathers. Yet it doesn’t end with their generation, the mission is to outlive us.

The exact reason you see a girlfriend playing the bonnie & Clyde role to a monster boyfriend. Her father was not different but mummy preferred the devil she knew & now daughter thinks it’s a norm. Thug loving they call it, a perfect word to describe an absolute madness. The other one turned out different. She just can’t stand being maltreated because daddy did it to mummy. Now she’s self disciplined on domestic violence, a walking baggage of rules. It’s just hard to see the good in anyone because she sees her father in every man.

The other gender isn’t any better. He just won’t get along with daddy because of what he did to mummy. That’s when it turned out right. On a negative note,  he becomes an asshole just like daddy & any woman who won’t be like mummy or withstand the torture isn’t a virtuous woman. So it’s already a cycle, passed on from one generation to the next. Yet we sing the adage like praise, as though it makes the world a better place. “Stick to the devil because you have his manual.”

The devil you know isn’t deserving but the angel you don’t isn’t an option either. Why spend your life choking on regret? 

Get up, Get out & find the Angel you can get know. It may turn out good or same But your happiness is worth the try……..

Why Not You……

Each day is a reminder of what we are yet to achieve & sometimes the disappointment is so much that the eyes won’t stop burning & the tears won’t stop flowing. So much disappointment, so much heartbreaks and you already feel like an absolute failure. 

The thought of peers who happen to be soaring much better in places we lack doesn’t help matters, especially when you run into them at every corner. At work place, social media, on the road and even the house of the Lord, making us doubt if our prayers ever made it to the high heavens. Why me???? We start to question.

Tolani is married, Akin runs his empire,George made a partner at his coy already, Tunji earns better, Tonia already has three kids, Bunmi drives her own car, Chioma is getting married, Kunle lives in his mansion…….the list is endless. So why me? –  is the million dollar that won’t stop popping BUT the real question to be asked why not you?

Someone died just this morning but you are up and about. Someone just got diagnosed with cancer but you are hale & hearty. Someone will loose his job in few hours but you still own your desk. Someone just lost his/ her spouse but you’ll be with yours in few hours. Someone just kissed her baby goodbye but yours await your arrival tonight……..Your struggles might be endless but their pain is real & you did nothing better, they call the same God as you. 

Just yesterday they were with dreams, positive on the future. They booked appointments & planned the meetings they never made it to. Kissed someone goodnight & not goodbye, yet they are no more……So Why not you? Life may not be what you want right now.  Things may not go as planned but what makes you think it won’t? 
So each time you wake up in the morning and realise your goodnight wasn’t a goodbye, dump your sorrows, burry your fears & be gracious no matter how much life sucks. For it truly could have been better BUT it could have been worse as well……….

Yaay! Am Getting Married……

Yaaaay! Am getting married. I know right. That’s how ladies scream at the joy of their fast approaching wedding & then the worry begins. From the perfect wedding theme to the tiniest details. Hmm! They must hear am right? Lol. 

I mean we just must get it right but while we worry about the obvious for our upcoming once-in-a-lifetime event –  “wedding”,we tend to miss out on what ought to be the most important theme of the day. How?

Lets walk through the wedding details, how we want everything in order and the guest satisfied to the fullest. God forbid a rowdy hall, everything must be well coordinated to perfection,from deco to desert. It better be the talk of town for ages. 

Did I mention the reception? Hmm! My favorite too. Especially how the guests rise to their feet in honor of the latest couple. When we get to rock the music down the aisle alongside our dashing groom’s men and the bridal team……yaay! Infact there’s a choreography these days for a beautiful show that soothes the eye. 

All these we note & we forget to note down  the cleric’s message for the newlyweds. Even the bride is busy doing the job of a timekeeper should they exceed schedule. Fun overload, with beautiful pictures to last ages.

Until you mistakenly add too much salt to the rice few weeks after the wedding that you try to reflect on the wedding lectures but unfortunately, the memory is faint already.

If God go catch you, oga is fasting & hoping to break his fast with a sumptuous meal. Maybe not, just an exhausting day at work that requires a cold shower & a decent meal.  

Here you are, serving him concentrated ocean water for dinner. That is when you know your case is at the high court of the village witches.

Shall I not enjoy my wedding? Of course you should and must. Should I deny myself the pleasure of rocking my beautiful crew down the aisle in celebration? God forbid you do,your wedding is yours to enjoy ……& so is your marriage.

So merry, drink, dance and flourish but all in all, forget not to llliiiissssttteennn to the words of the wise, for they will one day come handy………..

That Childhood Dreams……

Let’s conduct a census on what we wanted to be as a child, there is no doubt the word ‘a doctor’ would win the votes. Those tiny little voices still loud & clear, the medical doctor chorus when asked back then.
I remember wanting to be an accountant as a little girl despite not really knowing what it entails. I’d just seen a movie at the time and learned the word from it, the pretty lady that played the role must have contributed to it. Grew older and the law profession took over. A lawyer…..I’d say in my teenage voice, that was before I finally joined the medical doctor group. You can relate right???

So what happened to these dreams?? Life! Life happened to them all and we found ourselves on a different course,from waec gbege, to jamb results, rigorous admission process,denial by dream institutions, financial disability & Tsunami  CGPA in some cases. Others just found a passion path worth grooming ……..All in all we never stopped dreaming, only the content changed. 

A trip to Bahamas, a wonderful view on a Miami beach, Christmas in Calabar, all expense paid trip to Paris & did I hear you say Vegas? Definitely not a bad way to sail. So why let life happen to these dreams? Is it your job? Take a break. Family? The more the merrier. Health? Spouse?Funds? No excuse is worth a fulfilment. 

Who said you can’t have some quality fun within the continent? I have a friend who drove all the way down to Senegal & the fun filled experience couldn’t be put to words when asked. Don’t lead a life of a robot that doesn’t pass its programmed limit, it is the difference between us & a machine. 

So on this day 15/11/2016, I dare you to LIVE because you are human……….