THIRD PARTY CLICHE

THE THIRD PARTY CLICHE………

One of the most popular rules in marriage is never to discuss your spouse with a third party because it is believed to be key in Union destruction. Therefore couples live in pains and die in silence in bid to fulfill the societal third party cliche.

I’ve seen men drink themselves to sleep. I’ve seen women live on sleep pills only to wake up back to their troubles but hey, it’s okay because that’s what the society preaches.

They say a problem shared is half solved,yet we exempt marriage from the joy of this adage. ‘Take it all in till suicide crosses the mind’. No it’s not okay, if your ways of doing things yielded no result, then it’s high time you talked to someone. Yes someone I say. Of the one million and one people around you, talk to someone.

Someone productive, not destructive. Someone​ with constructive ideas on how to make a happy spouse, not conservative. Not everyone is out to destroy you as the society claims, some would give anything to see you happy. Others can see the troubles beyond your smiles already and are only waiting for you to share.

Someone is waiting for you to seek help, so Get up & Get help………

 

THE INSECURE WOMAN

THE INSECURE WOMAN

When it comes to snooping around, no one beats a woman at it. Their FBI skills can be unbelievable. The pretty part of it is that men feel smart with every lie they tell without the slightest idea of the extent women go to confirm their lies.

My ladies in the house already feel the gist. The part where they ask questions they already know the answers to,just to watch you lie. Cramming every & any suspicious call that comes through his phone so as to confirm the real ID. No thanks to True Caller.

The real FBI goes farther than imagined, by calling the number just to hear the voice at the other end. Even her husband’s PA has turned SU in dress code just to keep her job. His colleagues already know he has a jealous wife, the one who believes every woman is out to snatch her man.

The interpol insecure woman is worse in words and act. She smells his boxers, inhales his shirts. Even the tiniest mud stain might be taken for another woman’s powder and their is no limit to the craziness. When he’s late, he’s with another woman. When he’s early, she nags him off. He can’t get home and bail on dinner, no excuse is permitted as he must have ate from her.

The worse of them all is the FBI girlfriend, crosses every girl on campus to stay off her man. Screaming husband snatcher at every opportunity….. Sis bikko, which husband??? How does being the commander-in-chief of girlfriend staffs crown you the wife??

If this is who you are, then understand that you are not ‘protecting what you have’ as you claim. It was never yours if you have to go through such stress and emotional trauma to keep up with your man. If he is yours, then you need not worry about other applicants, they won’t get pass the audition stage.

Dear insecure woman,
Not everyone is out to snatch your husband, a chunk of them are happily married too. The traffic might just be truly heavy. He just might be too tired just have dinner or be on a long business call while your call is awaiting.

And that female colleague you suspect is truly single but your man don’t even fit her specs in the first place. You have secured your position as his woman, why feel insecure? If only you can take a minute to read through his heart, then you’d realize that your taming act is the major threat to your relationship, NOT THE OTHER WOMAN………

THE INSECURE MAN

THE INSECURE MAN……

Man or woman, we often require emotional uplift and moral boosting from our partner but when the topic becomes a cliche, creating a void in the relationship, then a substantial amount of attention should be given to it.

Contrary to popular beliefs, Insecurity on the part of a man is not always spouse related but personality related. Relationship history, upbringing, roughchildhood, bad parental influence among others are key common factors that contribute to ego bruise of an insecure man.

The clothes she wears become a problem and every friend of hers goes under your microscope for clearance. She can’t even hug a friend of the opposite sex because you tag is flirty. Freedom to hang out with friends is exclusive for you to stamp, even if its impromptu & what is worse is you tell yourself that it’s a norm.

No it’s not normal. No she’s not the problem, you are and the solution to every problem is accepting that there is a problem in the first place. Seeing the need to solve it. So ask yourself this honest question. Why do I feel so insecure with her? Is it just with her or this has been a trend?

The constant need to be reminded of being good enough for your spouse (either verbally or physically) is truly natural and almost inevitable for every being but to make insecurity a daily worship song in a relationship is emotionally draining & unhealthy.

If loosing her is what you dread, then you lost her already darling, she is only waiting for the perfect time to take a bow………..

 

THE LIFE YOU DETEST

The Life You Detest ………

It was just another sunny Thursday and i went about my business as always. My deal had gone well but needed to run a quick personal errand before calling it a day when I stumbled upon the sight. My associate couldn’t relate to the awe as I stopped with eyes fixated on the view before me.

“Do they live here or they’re just here to make a living?”. My question must have given him a clue as to why I was lost in thoughts. “Of course they live here”, his exact response. “For free I hope?”. The sound of his chuckle was a clear enough response for me even before he replied. No,not free. They pay rent to the area boys in charge. Rent for what exactly? I couldn’t fathom.

Stunned as I was,I brought my phone out to take some shots. I was a few clicks gone before I noticed a fully grown young man in his mid twenties having his bath very close to my spot. The screen could only protect him from the rest but not from the passersby on the express but he didn’t care. He didn’t even make an attempt to guard his nakedness​ from me.

My mind ran through my home and many comfort I fail to recognize. The life I own yet struggle hard for a status change. A million and one things we forget to count and appreciate because we’ve never known what it takes not to have them. The sheets we lay,the shade of a real roof. I remember shutting my windows against a storm but I never knew how much of a grace it is till this moment.

Many things we aspire to be. Many are things we own but detest. Many are the things we couldn’t achieve and that hurts like sting BUT for everything you are today, everything you have & anywhere you may have found yourself irrespective of how dissatisfying it may be, be thankful because the current life you detest so much is someone else’s dream……….. Don’t insult Grace.

 

Adam

The Bible says “Adam and Eve were naked and they were not ashamed”. Simply put man and wife were in a complete state of beauty and perfection. Shying not away from each other as it should be in marriage. Openness in marriage is one key determinant of a successful spouse and union. A situation where couples hold absolutely nothing back in their union is a sinless state that comes with a substantial amount of peace. No wrong no right, just like Adam and eve. “Until they eat of the forbidden fruit and they become conscious of their nakedness”.

What is a forbidden fruit???Forbidden fruit is that one thing that you know(as an individual) can trigger some strange behavior in your spouse and it varies from one marriage to another.

It can be adultery for some and disrespect to the in laws for another. Financial discrepancy, family interference and many more. However we need to understand that what Ada’s marriage thrives on might be the foundation of problems in Joke’s. Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit and became conscious of their Nakedness, thereby sewing together leaves to cover up, hiding from God (the only one who could help them).

When couples are in distress, each party refuses to be open enough for fair criticism. Reason why you’d see each family supporting their own ward thereby creating further feud. Accepting your contribution and being opened to rescue is a key success determinant.

There is no perfect being and a successful union is never about who’s more right or less wrong. No one offers food to a restaurant owner, no one would offer to clothes if they think you run a boutique. Accepting your weaknesses is in itself a sign of strength and only time will tell the world how strong you truly are………